The view from here

Sometimes I see things that were, or are yet to be.
Sometimes the vision is clear, like watching a TV screen.
Other times I see without actually seeing, The best way I can describe it is that I just 'know' something. Kind of like seeing through feeling. Perhaps what some might refer to as a sixth sense or second sight.
It's not something you talk about in general circles. Especially circles I grew up in!
Perhaps by starting to talk about it here, I might find other people who experience the same thing, or if they haven't had first-hand experience of it, are willing to accept the mysteries of it, without calling in the white coats or the black robes.
We shall see...

psychic or prophet

In a recent conversation my father said something that rocked me to the core. He said they had not bought a certain property because of my reaction to it. My mother laughed and said it was pretty cool having a psychic in the family. My father had swiftly and sternly responded, "We don't have psychics in our family! We have prophets."

* * *
When they had taken me to see the property, a couple of years ago,  I saw flashes of distressing imagery. I whirled around and told them some very bad things had happened on this property. That was all I could articulate at the time. My learned behaviour was to downplay anything I saw or felt, if I even mentioned it to anyone at all. This time it was so strong, I blurted it out before I had time to restrain myself. At the time they made a joke about how I looked as white as a ghost, or like I'd seen a ghost. I couldn't get off the property fast enough. And no further discussion was had.

* * *
Cut back to the present. My father had just said I was a prophet. His words ripped through me like a lightening bolt. It was the first time he had acknowledged I was tuned into things unseen by others.

So why the determination on his part that I was prophet, not psychic?
He is a pastor.  I grew up in a church environment where the word prophet was acceptable. A goodie. The word psychic was not acceptable. A baddie.

Funnily enough, the denomination I grew up in heralds a female prophet as a major part of their history. Yet my experience of being female and displaying prophetic/psychic abilities in this church, was one of being either ignored or vilified. I have struggled with this my whole life. A square peg trying to fit in a round hole. Attempting to be 'normal' and fit in.

Carl Jung expressed what my reality was. As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.

So it comes as a shock in middle-age to hear my father actually acknowledge what has always been true of me. That I see in the spiritual realm. 

I am freshly grieving the many losses of my life which resulted from this lack of acknowledgement, explaining, understanding or acceptance. When ones talent or abilities remain unseen or un-acknowledged by others, one ends up feeling invisible.

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